Adamerican Idolatry

Okay, I haven't really been following AI too religiously this season (cause I have a life 'n shit---okay, not really), but I've caught enough episodes to write this leetle rant. It's down to Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. Last night, the two went mano a mano, singing 1. a song of their choice 2. a song chosen by producer 3. a song co-written by judge Kara whats-her-face (and ultimately the song that the winner will have to record as his first single---a song, which, by the way, is possibly the stupidest, smarmiest, retch-inducing-est piece of crap ever written--makes You Light Up My Life sound like Whole Lotta Love). Even Kara whats-her-face said she wasn't going to judge them based on that song, and she co-wrote it! There's a glowing endorsement of the soon-to be-released single! That should be on the album cover: Reflections by Adam Lambert: Please don't judge this album by that one craptacular song they made me sing as part of my contractual obligations. Thank you.

ANYway, I won't get in to the details of the night, but I'd like to know exactly what kind of dirt Adam Lambert has on these judges. All four of them have been sucking his dick all season. Yeah, the guy can sing, but he's such a throwback, I can't even imagine what kind of album this guy would make. Sorry, but arena rock ended in the 80s. To borrow from Simon, he sounds like cruise ship entertainment, like Norwegian Cruise Lines Presents: Rock n Roll Through the Ages starring American Idol's Adam Lambert. Kris Allen is so much more current and relevant, kinda John Mayer-y, if ya like that sorta thing. He did a cover of Kanye West's Heartless that was crazy cool:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we_B7x6ShrE

But it's America that votes, and since these are the same people who put G.W. Bush in office twice, I have no doubt the people will choose wisely....