My Big Fat Gay Rant

Thank the baby Jesus that we have decided to preserve the sanctity of marriage here in Maine! So that the Britney Spears of the world can continue to marry douchebags in Vegas and then get said marriages annulled hours later. So that countless reality-show fucktards can duke it out for the honor of presenting a ring that they didn't buy to a vapid attention-whore--but hey! at least it's one man and one woman! So that the Ted Haggards of the world can rail against gay marriage, but then can fuck male prostitutes in a meth-induced haze. So that the Bill Clintons, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzers and Mark Sanfords can violate their sacred and holy wedding vows with cigars, videographers, hookers and Argentines. Yes, it's probably best that we keep the sacred and holy institute of marriage away from the gays, cuz the straights are just SO good at it!