According to 10,000 Dream Interpretations by Gustavus Hindeman Miller, "if you see tar in dreams, it warns you against pitfalls and designs of treacherous enemies. To have tar on your hands or clothing, denotes sickness and grief". On more than one occasion, I have dreamed of walking--in high heels--on fresh tar. In these same dreams, I find myself helplessly lost, walking endlessly down strange streets, encountering numerous doors that lead to nowhere. The key symbolism in "being lost" dreams is frustration and is indicative of feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, and feeling 'out of place' (or so Miller says).
Hmmmmm.....
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
AcapHELLa
With the rising popularity of shows like American Idol and Glee, was an acapella contest far behind? No. No, it wasn't. The Sing-Off would have us believe that Ivy League glee clubs and cougar barbershop quartets are (gay) cool. With the exception of Nota (the winners, not surprisingly), a Puerto Rican sextet (hehe--I said sex), the groups cut a cacophonic swath through pop music like a fat kid through cake. For the love of all that is holy, why must every fad be rewarded with its own public forum? The only thing that could have made this disaster of a show any worse was if it had been hosted by Wayne Brady (I'm sure he was their first choice, but he has that sweet gig over at Let's Make a Deal). Now no one is a bigger proponent of singing badly in public than I. Most people are aware of my karaokial (I know, I know--not a word, but it's my blog, damn it!) proclivities. But let's leave the karaoke in its rightful place: a dark, slighty seedy bar--with cheap beer.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
pre-smackdown smack-talk
Elizabeth Winslow: Oh, you are Livin' on a Prayer. Your head will be spinning Round and Round while I Rock You Like a Hurricane. But, I guess that's the Same ol' Situation as always!!
Michelle Pavao: Here I Go Again! Take a Photograph, Lemon, cuz Ima be Bringin' On The Heartbreak! It's the Final Countdown: Shake Me? Haha, In Your Dreams.....
Elizabeth Winslow: Oh, Sweet Child o' Mine...You better Turn up the Radio and keep practicing because you'll be wishing you were Home Sweet Home or maybe in Paradise City...But I'll be sending you back to Skid Row on the Night Train!!
Michelle Winslow: Where's my invite!?!
Elizabeth Winslow: Oh, Sister Christian, you'll be invited. One of us will be going down in a Blaze of Glory, the other will be having Nothin' But a Good Time. So, December 6, Fly High Michelle on down to the OPT. But bring along Dr. Feelgood because there's gonna be some Bad Medicine!!
Erin Rowley: keep it going! i love when you 2 argue in song title form!
Michelle Pavao: You Got Another Thing Comin', Lemon, cuz I'm Nobody's Fool! I'm gonna Lay It Down In The Still Of The Night so take a Photograph and Lay It Down! You better check your Metal Health cuz I'm Hell Bent For Leather and Screamin' For Vengeance! Wait! You think you're gonna Rock Me? You better just Runaway before you Burn In Hell!
Elizabeth Winslow: All right-We strutted into town Just Like Jesse James at the Cher-off. And I’ll admit, I thought I was Invincible at the Benat-off. But we won’t be able to Blame it on the Boogie like we did at the Jack-off. You might have to Kickstart My Heart after I show off my Wild Side at the Aqua Net-Off. 12 days-It’s the Final Countdown. I’m Running With The Devil and you’re Headed For A Heart Break. But remember-Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away).
Michelle Pavao: Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Lemon, cuz If I Could Turn Back Time, you'd see it's really Black Or White: you better board the Crazy Train, cuz your singing will get you 18 And Life. No going Home Sweet Home for you, you're only FFFFoolin' yourself. You may have the Looks That Kill, but it won't do you any good in the Still Of The Night.
Elizabeth Winslow: Back For More, are we?? Well, there really is No One Like You. But you just can't Shake Me. Lay It Down? Oh, I'll Lay It Down. You better learn a little Patience because I'm gonna be Burning Like A Flame all night long. And that's just The Way It Is!!
Michelle Pavao: Tell Me, Way Cool Jr., do you prefer to Die With Your Boots On or Run To The Hills? Cuz when Push Comes To Shove, this Modern Day Cowboy will Stand Up And Shout. At 2 Minutes To Midnight, I'm gonna Unchain The Night. Oh, There's No One Like You, Sweet Child O Mine, but you'll be The Last In Line, Alone Again--that's just The Way It Is. But hey, get yer Big Bottom up there and take a Shot In The Dark! You may be lookin' for Nothin' But A Good Time, but there's no need to Talk Dirty To Me!
Michelle Pavao: Here I Go Again! Take a Photograph, Lemon, cuz Ima be Bringin' On The Heartbreak! It's the Final Countdown: Shake Me? Haha, In Your Dreams.....
Elizabeth Winslow: Oh, Sweet Child o' Mine...You better Turn up the Radio and keep practicing because you'll be wishing you were Home Sweet Home or maybe in Paradise City...But I'll be sending you back to Skid Row on the Night Train!!
Michelle Winslow: Where's my invite!?!
Elizabeth Winslow: Oh, Sister Christian, you'll be invited. One of us will be going down in a Blaze of Glory, the other will be having Nothin' But a Good Time. So, December 6, Fly High Michelle on down to the OPT. But bring along Dr. Feelgood because there's gonna be some Bad Medicine!!
Erin Rowley: keep it going! i love when you 2 argue in song title form!
Michelle Pavao: You Got Another Thing Comin', Lemon, cuz I'm Nobody's Fool! I'm gonna Lay It Down In The Still Of The Night so take a Photograph and Lay It Down! You better check your Metal Health cuz I'm Hell Bent For Leather and Screamin' For Vengeance! Wait! You think you're gonna Rock Me? You better just Runaway before you Burn In Hell!
Elizabeth Winslow: All right-We strutted into town Just Like Jesse James at the Cher-off. And I’ll admit, I thought I was Invincible at the Benat-off. But we won’t be able to Blame it on the Boogie like we did at the Jack-off. You might have to Kickstart My Heart after I show off my Wild Side at the Aqua Net-Off. 12 days-It’s the Final Countdown. I’m Running With The Devil and you’re Headed For A Heart Break. But remember-Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away).
Michelle Pavao: Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Lemon, cuz If I Could Turn Back Time, you'd see it's really Black Or White: you better board the Crazy Train, cuz your singing will get you 18 And Life. No going Home Sweet Home for you, you're only FFFFoolin' yourself. You may have the Looks That Kill, but it won't do you any good in the Still Of The Night.
Elizabeth Winslow: Back For More, are we?? Well, there really is No One Like You. But you just can't Shake Me. Lay It Down? Oh, I'll Lay It Down. You better learn a little Patience because I'm gonna be Burning Like A Flame all night long. And that's just The Way It Is!!
Michelle Pavao: Tell Me, Way Cool Jr., do you prefer to Die With Your Boots On or Run To The Hills? Cuz when Push Comes To Shove, this Modern Day Cowboy will Stand Up And Shout. At 2 Minutes To Midnight, I'm gonna Unchain The Night. Oh, There's No One Like You, Sweet Child O Mine, but you'll be The Last In Line, Alone Again--that's just The Way It Is. But hey, get yer Big Bottom up there and take a Shot In The Dark! You may be lookin' for Nothin' But A Good Time, but there's no need to Talk Dirty To Me!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Ozone-shmozone
Hi, kids. In the tradition of the Cher-Off, the Benat-Off, and the Jack-Off, Lemon and Paylo will once again cut heads--big, hairsprayed heads--at the AquaNet-Off! Nirvana may have killed the hair bands, but we're raisin' 'em from the dead for one night only! Sunday, December 6th, Old Port Tavern. You bring the earplugs, we'll bring the RAWK!!!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Jake
I spread ash-grey newspapers
all over the kitchen floor,
three layers thick, because
he can’t get up and down stairs
anymore.
Sixteen years ago, I spread ash-grey newspapers
all over the kitchen floor,
three layers thick, because
he was still learning.
Six years ago, I spread, not newspapers,
but ash-grey just the same,
the remains of a life on the wind, because
he was finally free.
all over the kitchen floor,
three layers thick, because
he can’t get up and down stairs
anymore.
Sixteen years ago, I spread ash-grey newspapers
all over the kitchen floor,
three layers thick, because
he was still learning.
Six years ago, I spread, not newspapers,
but ash-grey just the same,
the remains of a life on the wind, because
he was finally free.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
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